-Leo Rupa Adhikari
Hanging out with friends on chatting and finishing households has been my regular routines these days. However, my wifi connections are active and make illusions on people that I do have nothing to do with except tapping the facebook. Whatever, I myself is aware about my routine and refreshing through youtubes and being encyclopedia of google.Google has been a best friend these days because it is evertime readily waiting to solve my every queries . Every problems are solved by my best friend. The time after I have my dinner is precious for me to hang with friends and making naughty guffs healing loneliness.
My eyes opened wide sweating the whole body with a large heartbeats making me uncomfortable on my own pretty pillows. It must be an aeroplane’s fly which was giving a scary sound vibrated on my dark room. It must be a nightmare, I guessed. The buzzing of insects can be clearly heard without concentrations. The mosquito is appealing for it’s food giving a monotonous, harsh sound. What’s this? What made me detached from my sweet dreamland??
Most often, the duration between the evening and midnight drowns my imaginations. The romantic vibes, happy memories, curiosity about future life, traumas, press the emotions on my face. Sometimes I laugh too hardly and sometimes lean my head regretting on miseries. My grandmother often asks –“Why’s this lady laughing??huh?? Are you dreaming? “”Nope granny, I am just remembering a joke.” And she flows the voice of sweet smile. She doesn’t notice my cries because I don’t want to let her feel pain on my vested sufferings.
The meantime makes my soul get relaxed and make my thinking dig the deepest issues. This may be the one cause of my criticism on every issues. So why, the dreams occurred on my unconscious mind make me go mad.
Yeah, unconsciously, this day, the infant whom I observed on news channel theft my sticky sleep. I could mesmerize that the mother belonged to the child was bravely hiding her coward emotions somewhere by. The infant enjoying the breastfeeding felt pleasant and got on a sudden nap.
After daytime sleep, I opened my facebook account. A friend of mine had posted about her parents visit towards Australia at Tribhuwan International Airport and I tapped like along with a comment for safe journey. Scrolling my newsfeed, my eyes were catching the online medias competing on providing news about the dead bodies to be landed on the airport. In a rush, I holded the remote and started searching the nepali news channel as a policeman rushing towards a robber.
The crowded people and the rainy day was unpleasant this time. The alone room provided company to roll down my tears. Those red boxes made me remember about the Iraq’s merciful incident which happened some decade before. It was a different type of murder in comparison to Iraq’s incident . Anyway, a human soul couldnot bear the separation of the other nearest one, however sort of death it is. We are emotional beings , although.
The Muna-Madan ,’Sunko bala laaune dhoko’ song started pushing to brust my tear glands in addition. The visualization of cries produced by those beloved wives, mothers,fathers,the relatives could make everyone go down and suffer a lot, how can I be an exception?
I don’t know why, my unconscious is still hooked on the nap on mother’s breast. The innocent 4 years infant only knows the mother and obviously has an intimacy towards her. So far, I had gone through the Freudian and Lacanian psychoanalysis, a child thinks himself as a mirror of his mother during six months. Every child are god gifted innocent. The child after few years must be questioning about his father and how painful the moment will be when the mother have to cry after his each questions.
The mother couragely giving the interview holding child firmly must have broken into pieces struggling to hide her tears and husband’s missing. Another reason behind her controlling may be because of unseen dead box .I couldn’t further see , what she did after the box landed. But my heart could understand her emotion, really intolerable, being a female lover.
No doubt, a father has a strong determination towards his duties because of providing safety, fulfillness and love for the family. He has the overall responsibility for the family protection. Though , by nature he’s unable to directly involve in child bearing and rearing, as the nature has gave the duties for the female since many centuries. But what a man does is, he feels the sufferings of his wife sitting aside and granting her every deeds and supporting her with sufficient love and care.
Mother, the unexplainable, infinitive bond of love and care bears every moments as a fortunate one for the child growth. Since the foetus, the painful delivery (most satisfaction gained on paining ) ,the nurture of child ,standing as a nurse , guiding moralities being a teacher , hurry as an athlete , entertainer as a joker, watchman, working without salaries…..Who can do this???Really, mother is a powerful entity. Every insects and mammals do have love for their child . No matters, what the conditions and time are.
She has to be a model/ heroine of father, a caretaker of parents-in-law and family, smiling as a flower containing sweet voice to influence the visiting quests after finishing her unseen household deeds. And takes care of child too inspite of her busyness without feeling of irritation and hesitation. Instead, pleased with child’s first laughter, first foot step, calling her ‘mamma’ ,first day school and the every steps are the lines of satisfaction for her.
Hmmm, I must have gone out of track. But these are the essentials to be felt by everyone . The family life and bond of happiness are the most precious thing for the survival of living. I too have to be a mother some fine day and have to pass through these. It is said that, a girl’s most greatest happiness is counted when she gives birth to her child. I must be probably knowing and time teaches every solutions. I am very hopeful to god which created me as a part of this world. It’s 1:00, need to sleep because it would be tough to maintain the everyday schedule .Goodnight everyone!
